No Sake For Saiyans
by ArizonaRed
Summary: What happens when Roshi introduces Goku to sake? Japanese Rice Wine One shot with mild language and slight lemony implications at times.


**No Sake For Saiyans  
by ArizonaRed**

This is a very different take on a party taking place after Majin Buu is defeated. What happens when Roshi introduces Goku to sake? One shot with mild language and slight lemony at times.

* * *

It was over. Majin Buu was finally dead and the Earth was once again safe. Something that monumental was deserving of a celebration just as huge so everyone gathered at the Capsule Corporation headquarters. Bulma definitely could handle a gala worthy of such a feat and it would prove to be a party none attending would soon forget.

Little by little the guests started to arrive just as the finally preparations were met. One-time rivals and enemies mingled, talked and laughed; even Piccolo and Vegeta joined in brief conversations with the differing guests. After a while, Bulma could swear she could hear Goku's and Vegeta's stomach growling in anticipation over the din of the crowded grounds. Grabbing a chair, she stood on it as the throng of friends quieted, waiting for her inevitable welcome speech.

"Welcome everyone! So glad to see you all again! I can hear how hungry Goku and Vegeta are so lets get to the food! Everybody better hurry before those two eat it all..." The crowd snickered in the truthfulness of the warning and headed to their seats in the large banquet hall.

Just as predicted, food and beverages began to quickly diminish...which was expected with 2 Saiyans and 3 demi-Saiyans attending the party. Goku finished off his 14th plate and sat back to let the food in his stomach settle and make room for more.

"Chichi, I'm gonna get another drink...want anything while I'm up?" His wife pushed her plate towards the center of the table.

"No thanks Goku-san, I'm stuffed." Gradually the younger Saiyan made his way through the tables of past enemies turned allies over to the beverage kiosk. All that was left was a few beer cans floating in an ice cooler and 2 crates of a clear gold colored liquid in dark green bottles. Goku frowned in disappointment; he knew he didn't like beer and wasn't too sure what the mystery drink was. For a desperate second, he considered scooping up some of the ice water out of the cooler to drink until Muten Roshi walked up and patted his former student's back.

"Enjoying the party, my boy?" Goku couldn't hide his look of disappointment.

"There's nothing left to drink and I'm so thirsty!"

"What do you mean? All the best stuff is left!" The old turtle hermit bent over to swipe a cold beer from the cooler and handed the Saiyan one of the dark green bottles. "Battle's over...time to celebrate!" Goku twisted the cork out of the bottle and sniffed the unknown contents. The aroma was something he never smelt before, yet it vaguely was similar to the beer Roshi just opened. Yet it was different as it had a slightly sweet odor that hinted at having rice in it.

"I don't think I'll like it..." Goku muttered. His former master grabbed a cup, poured the contents in and mixed it with plum juice.

"Here, try this first, then start adding more sake and less juice and you'll get used to it." Goku tipped the plastic cup to his lips and allowed a small gulp to flood into his mouth. Instantly he tasted the sweet and tanginess of the juice along with something else...something of a darker nature. But it wasn't bad, so Goku finished off the cup. Roshi watched his expression, then took the empty cup to fill it again. "Hehe, See? I said you'd like it." The senior-aged trouble-maker continued to fill the cup just as fast as Goku drained them, all the while the quantity of juice became more and more extinct. After the second bottle was polished off, the taller man winced and put a hand on the side of his head.

"Oooh...my head feels all...swimmy What is that stuff anyways?" Roshi began to frown, suddenly realizing his mistake and took the cup from his past student.

"Ah...it's called sake...um, Goku? I don't think you should have any more."

"Pshh...I'm okay." He bent down to grab two more bottles and start back to his table. "Besides, I'm still thirsty." With each passing moment, the effects of the alcohol made walking straight and unassisted an impossible task. For a great many years all of Goku's family and friends had quietly wondered what he would be like were he ever to get intoxicated...and they all were about to find out.

As the inebriated man found his seat next to his wife, he sat down with a huff and popped open the third bottle. Chichi and Bulma were deep in a conversation over the newest line of fashion out of the West Capital and didn't notice Goku return. Resting his foggy head on his hand, he listened to the the two women with no real concern over the topic. Little by little the bottle's contents disappeared along with Goku's sense decency and morals. As he opened the fourth bottle, a wickedly sly grin spread over his face, mirroring the thoughts in his alcohol-soaked brain.

"I thought the blue dress would have been cuter with silver trim instead of gold, but I guess..." Goku's hand slapping down on the table startled the spouses out of their conversation.

"You know what would be really hot? If you two started kissing each other, right here." Both Bulma's and Chichi's jaws dropped open in shock and simultaneously a tint began to fill their cheeks.

"Goku-san...what did you say?" Bulma barely managed to squeak out the question since his wife was still mute from shock. The expression on his face was the most unnerving part; like he hadn't said anything out of the ordinary. Goku leaned back and nudges Krillin to ask him his opinion in a rather loud voice.

"Hey, wouldn't it be hot to see my wife and Vegeta's wife going at each other?" The wives's blushing rapidly spread from their cheeks to their whole face now that the embarrassment wasn't confined to the three of them. Making it worse, the whole banquet hall heard Goku and was dead quiet. "Um...well I...guess so..." his best friend stammered. Goku turned back to the women with a righteous look, and took another swallow from the bottle. Finally, Chichi took notice of the jade colored container and pulled it out of his grasp.

"Goku what is this?" To answer her own question, she turned it to read the label. "Sake? Goku did you drink the whole bottle by yourself?" Her husband shook his head to signify a 'no' answer and retrieved the bottle. Raising it to his lips, he quickly downed the rest of the amber liquid.

"Now I have."

"Is this the only one?" Again he exaggeratedly shook a no answer and began counting on his fingers.

"1...2...those were with Roshi...3...4...were here at the table...so...5...no 4. I've dranken 4 bottles on my own." Chichi was once again left speechless as Oolong piped in a snide comment.

"Boy, I guess Goku can't handle his alcohol as well as he thought." The pig-man snickered. Goku frowned at his friend.

"Shush before I stuff an apple in your mouth, Piggy." Oolong quickly became silent as Vegeta began to get up from the table.

"I'm done witnessing this pathetic excuse for a Saiyan..." The third-class warrior's face twisted to an angry disgust.

"Oh shut the Hell up Vegeta! If I wanted any lip from you, I'd peel it off my zipper." Vegeta's countenance rapidly changed from the same shock as his mate, to disbelief then to down right rage.

"What did you say to me?!?" Vegeta's voice thundered as he took a threatening step closer to the focus of his most recent fury. Goku ignored his question but squinted as if thinking over something as he regarded the angry Saiyan.

"I bet you'd be just the right height for that too..." Goku added with a drunken chuckle. "Can you imagine _**my**_ prince kneeling in front of me?" Everyone in the hall quickly abandoned their seats and scattered away from the brawl that was sure to ensue. Bulma stood up and firmly held a hand on Vegeta's chest, successfully holding back the infuriated royal.

"Vegeta, he's drunk. Don't listen to..." Bulma suddenly tensed up as two strong hands slid around her waist to intertwine fingers in front of her stomach. Goku rested his chin on her shoulder and commenced to whisper in her ear.

"You know, I always wanted to screw you senseless." The image of her and Goku together filled her mind, causing the heavy blush to return. "That is, of course, after I figured out what you girls are for. Good thing you weren't around during my teenage years! You can't imagine how many times I jerked off thinking of when I saw you naked..." His eyes focused on a visibly irate Vegeta as he ended the embarrassing ramble in Bulma's ear. "Hey Vegeta...did you know I got your wife's panties off way before you ever did?" The Prince's eyes widened in fury as Bulma escaped Goku's grasp and stepped over to try and stop the wrath forming in Vegeta's fists.

"Don't. It's just the sake talking." She turned to face the intoxicated Saiyan. "Goku! Please! This isn't funny and you know I had nothing to do with that! I was asleep and you..." Vegeta interrupted in a loud and thundering voice.

"**IT'S TRUE**?!?" Bulma sighed in exasperation and turned back to her mate, as Goku was clearly enjoying the fight he caused between the two.

"No I've never been with Goku! And it wasn't what your thinking. Besides, no one even remembers..." Vegeta was nearing implosion as he interrupted again.

"Apparently that baka remembers!" Bulma's retort was cut short by Goku's arms surrounding her narrow waist yet again.

"Aww...Don't worry 'Geta-chan, I've never had Bulma in bed with me. And don't worry about the fact that she wishes it was me instead of you." Bulma gasped as she instinctually knew what was about to happen next. And even with her precognitive thoughts, she still wasn't fast enough to stop Vegeta.

All anyone saw was a flash of blueish white light as Vegeta lunged forward and delivered a bone-crushing punch to Goku's jaw followed by another pummeling to the other cheek, then buried his fist into his relaxed abdomen. The inertia of the beating sent Goku's body flying through the tables and continued out through the far wall, only stopping in a garden area about a quarter of a mile away. All eyes were resting on Vegeta, who relaxed out of his normal battle stance, stood up straight and adjusted his shirt. He turned back to face Bulma, having a slightly disappointed look on her otherwise shocked face.

"If it really was just the sake talking as you said, now that baka can sleep it off."

In the next few days, life slowly began to return to normal, as much as it could. Goku woke up two days after the party and found himself in his own bed with an incredibly painful jaw and stomach. Wanting to spare him and themselves any more humiliation, no one told Goku of the eye-opening events at the party he couldn't seem to remember. Of course, not being able to ask him anything left all who attended the party to wonder if the sake had cleared away very truthful inhibitions or was everything an alcohol induced fictional rant?

Living with such a powerful being in your family tends to take on a few restrictions in day to day life and the Son and Briefs families were no different. Some were simple rules, like don't ever say "All you can eat" in a sentence around Goku or don't ever imply that Vegeta is weaker that Goku. Don't ever take food away from a Saiyan was another and after the party two new rules were added to the unspoken guide book of Saiyans:

Don't ever trust Roshi around alcohol,

and

Never give a Saiyan Sake.


End file.
